


His Only Hope

by notwithoutyou85



Category: Prisoners (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:45:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwithoutyou85/pseuds/notwithoutyou85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Contrary to popular belief, the job wasn't the only thing Detective John Loki loved. Detective Loki/OC (Prisoners, 2013)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Apples and cinnamon.

That was the first thing he breathed in when he walked in the front door every night. Well, when his job allowed him to come home. It was oddly comforting. Something he counted on. Enough to make his heart flutter and eyes come to life.

Tonight was no different.

But it was in a way. He was different. The whole case with the missing girls, their father's urgency, what he had done to the boy in the abandoned house, the look on his face when Loki found him there. Shivering. Face bloodied. All of it had changed him somehow. His insides didn't feel the same.

Which is why he had to see her face as fast as his tired legs could carry him. If he didn't, his overactive brain would explode. She was his calm and his anchor. The only reason to believe everything wasn't shit. That the world could have a silver lining at the end of the dark abyss he stepped into every day.

It was a little after two, which meant she had been asleep for the past few hours. When he started working the Dover case a little over a week ago, he explained from day one that this one would mean long nights. Maybe nights where he wouldn't be there with her, so there was no reason to wait up for him and be exhausted at work the next day.

But she did it any way. She was always waiting up for him, and selfishly, he counted on that too.

She was lying on their bed twisted up in the sheets. Marian was always a restless sleeper. He didn't understand how he managed to stay on the bed and not topple onto the floor most nights. Her long legs were a problem. Only during sleep, of course.

He sighed heavily, collapsing quietly next to her dark shape. Even in blackness she was beautiful. An angel. He peeked over her shoulder at her sweet face lit by the moonlight coming from the window. Ran his hand gently over her long brunette tresses and brushed his lips over the back of her pale hand.

Even in childhood pictures, Marian was pale like a breakable porcelain doll in a glass case. He worried sometimes that she didn't get enough sun, but even in the sun she didn't tan. Her skin stayed ivory. Like Snow White. Literally.

He chuckled under his breath at that. It was what he called her the first day they met.


	2. Chapter 2

They met three years ago on a Saturday in the rain. You could say that the circumstances were odd.

The only thing Loki hated more than rain was the mall on a Saturday. Too many crowds. Overpriced stores. Bad music over the loud speaker. Take your pick. It was unfortunate that he was forced to deal with both today.

He and his partner stopped in the mall parking lot in response to a carjacking. Broad daylight, two women, one or both possibly injured at the scene, and at least ten witnesses including a security guard.

Loki dragged a tired hand down his face. After six years as a cop, the stupidity of criminals still baffled him. There were camera everywhere in a public place like this. He had spotted two driving in without putting forth any effort. Out of all the places to steal a car. The mall on a Saturday… really? The guy either wanted to get caught or just didn't give a shit. Only plausible explanation.

Fucking idiot.

A few of the security guards and a small group of onlookers stood around on the sidewalk. The two female victims sat on the curb. One of them was talking closely to the other, who had her head in her hands. By the time Loki and Martinez got out of the cruiser, she was pacing a few feet away by herself.

"Ma'am?" Martinez was always the one who spoke first. Loki preferred to observe and move into that part. The blonde woman in her late twenties looked up at him. "I'm Office Martinez. This is Officer Loki. Want to tell us what happened here?"

Diana told them the story from the beginning saying that she and her friend, the driver, were leaving the parking lot after a day of shopping when a man approached them. He was Caucasian, 6'0", average weight, wearing a black shirt and jeans, and might have had a noticeable birthmark or mole on his chin.

Loki jotted down the information, giving her a warm half smile every now and then when she glanced at the his hand, knowing they'd probably only find the car and not the guy. That was just the reality.

"Are you injured?" Martinez asked her pointedly.

"No. My friend. She wouldn't get out of the car." The woman explained.

Loki glanced up at her. "He struck her?"

"Well, no. Not exactly."

"Then what exactly?" Loki questioned. Martinez looked over at him, incredulous. He always said he was too overzealous with the victims, interrogating them like they committed the crime they were the victim of. Loki didn't disagree.

"Diana, the more information you give us the better chance we have of catching the piece of shit. You want to us to catch him?"

She nodded, unaffected by his brashness.

"Good. So, what exactly?"

"He dragged her out of the car. She hit her head on the street. Tumbled a few times, I think."

"That your friend over there?" Loki muttered, eyes back on the small pad.

The woman nodded. "Marian… erm, Mary. She likes to be called Mary."

"Thanks, Diana. Officer Martinez is gonna finish up taking your statement."

The other woman had veered farther away from the commotion. All Loki could make out of her was a large black raincoat that went down to the middle of her calves and the hood that protected her from the drizzling rain. She had gone from pacing to standing perfectly still, staring out at the interstate.

Loki stopped five or six feet behind her, figuring that was a safe distance. "Mary?"

She turned around almost immediately to face him. Tears brimmed her eyes and her forehead was creased. Loki noticed the gauze taped above her left eye.

"He got you good, huh?" Loki observed.

Marian nodded lightly at the statement, brushing her hand over the gauze. Her mouth was open, but she wasn't speaking. Loki took a few cautious steps forward and lead her towards the covered area of the mall entrance.

When she lowered the hood, he spoke again. "I'm Officer Loki. We just spoke to your friend Diana. She said you were driving the car?"

"I was in the driver's seat, yes." She said softly. "It's my car. Or was. My car. I guess."

Loki's hand reached for her. She flinched slightly, turning her face. "Sorry. Can I-" He murmured and pulled a small section of the gauze away to examine her wound. A breath hitched in her chest at the tape pulling her skin. "Not too bad. Maybe a few stitches."

"You think so?" She looked relieved. "Needles aren't really my thing."

"Smart woman." He grinned and positioned his pen to the pad. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Diana and I came out with the shopping bags. We loaded them into the car and after we got in, she was already inside, had her seatbelt on and everything, this guy walked up to my side of the car and told me to get out. He had a knife. Diana got out really fast, but I-"

Then he froze in place, his mouth creating a thin line, because he knew what came next. She started to cry.

Nothing made him more nervous than a crying woman. Dead bodies, domestic abuse calls, pedophiles, no problem. But a sobbing woman was another thing entirely. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, his bones turned to jelly, and his feet were suddenly cemented to the damp sidewalk.

People assumed by the tattoos and haircut that he was tough through and through, and from the years he spent in the boy's home and foster care as a kid he had to be to survive, but a crying woman changed all of that. Like he never lived through any of it at all. It made him feel useless and out of place.

All he could do was hand her a kleenex he still had in his jacket pocket from being sick a few weeks back. She took it, grateful. "Sorry. I'm a mess. God. This was supposed to be a fun day off. I haven't had a Saturday off since March."

"That's understandable. Don't, um, you know, feel bad." He tried to soothe her as much as humanly possible. "Any other injuries I should know about?" Did he just say I… he had meant we. We being the police department. Not him personally.

"Um, my head. Obviously. My leg from when he pulled me out of the car. I know I should have gotten out when he asked. He had the knife, but-"

"Did he cut you?" Loki asked, concerned… too concerned.

She shook her head. "The security guard came out before. Like I said, I didn't get out of the car right away when he told me to. He was yelling and impatient and all I could think about was 'why is he doing this, how could someone think it's okay to do this to a stranger', someone they don't know, so I said it. I asked why he was doing this." She shook her head in disbelief and said, "My mother's a psychiatrist," as if that excused the whole incident.

Loki tried desperately not to laugh. Do. Not. Laugh.

"He grabbed my arm and dragged me out and held the knife to my face. That's when the security guard came out and he got in the car and drove away. That's the long version of 'no, he didn't cut me'."

Loki smiled down at the pad. "Caught that. Thank you." But inside he grimaced, hating whoever this guy was who had threatened a defenseless woman smaller and less powerful than himself. The term coward fuck came to mind. "Good. That's good. What's your full name?"

"Marian Albers. A-l-b-e-r-s." She let out a deep sigh, glad to get all of that off of her chest.

He tried not to focus on her beauty while taking down the rest of the information. Pale skin, high cheekbones, bright green eyes, and long dark brunette hair. She was beautiful, but didn't carry herself that way. She had no idea and that interested him more than anything else. It was kind of unbelievable. How could she not know?

Judging from her reaction to the day's events, he guessed she was from a small town. Sheltered. Nice parents. The youngest of a few siblings.

He could have been completely off base, of course. But that's what he imagined. His eyebrows furrowed when she told him she was twenty-nine. She looked like a grad student.

X-0-X

The drive to the hospital was short. Loki and Martinez followed behind the ambulance. They were only going because Martinez thought Diana left out a few details on the suspect's description and wanted to take the statement again.

Loki didn't mind.

He walked in on Marian lying down on the hospital bed over the sheets and blanket, head rewrapped, eyes closed. She looked almost peaceful. He knocked lightly, but she didn't move.

After a moment of watching her, he turned to leave, thinking she was asleep.

"I'm awake, Officer Loki."

She sounded tired.

"How'd you know who it was?"

"Weight of your footsteps. I memorized them before."

He thought he was dreaming.

"It's something I do." And then she leveled her tired gaze on him.

"I can come back."

"No, it's fine. Just need about eighteen hours of sleep and I'll be good as new." She sat up and the anxious expression on her face from the mall returned. "I have to look at pictures, right?"

"Absolutely. I called the sketch artist on the ride over. He'll be here soon. Then you look through the pictures and the line up comes later."

"Oh." She said. "Not exactly thrilled about seeing him again. Every time I close my eyes…" She doesn't have to finish the thought. He knew the rest.

"Two way mirror. Perfectly safe."

"Yeah…"

Loki dragged a chair next to her and sat down. "It'll be fine. It's important that we catch him, so he doesn't do this to anyone else. That's your responsibility too."

"You believe that?" She asked him, a little surprised he would put it that way.

"I do."

She smiled. "Very idealistic for a cop."

He laughed.

"What?"

"No, just, when I walked in you, um, sort of looked like Snow White. Lying there." She seemed confused. "You know, the cartoon? With the seven dwarves and the-"

"Yeah, I know it. That was my nickname is elementary school."

"Seriously?"

"Mm-hmm. Even had the black hair. I dye it brown now."

"It looks nice."

They stared at each other silently for a long moment and time stopped. It must have been a full minute until he broke the silence.

"Your hair." Loki elaborated.

She touched the ends and his cheeks started to flush. He wanted to die from embarrassment.

X-0-X

Marian and Diana showed up at the station the next day to look at pictures. Turned out Diana saw more of the carjacker than she originally thought and the description was more specific now. Martinez bragged about it all morning and in the break room while he and Loki took their lunch break.

But Loki wasn't listening. He was too busy thinking about how he spent an extra ten minutes in front of the mirror that morning knowing she was coming. Not that it made much of a difference. He wasn't one for primping.

He sat next to Marian at his desk while she and Diana flipped through the book, looked carefully at faces, and went back and forth to agree and disagree on who looked familiar. Every time Marian disagreed, she gently shook her head and her hair spilled delicately around her shoulders. At one point, Loki got the strange urge to reach over and tuck the hair behind her ear, so it would be easier for her to see.

But he resisted. And that was not easy.

They stole quick glances at each other often, trying to play it down for Diana, who never noticed.

Marian finally looked at a face for more than twenty seconds and her head did not shake. Loki perked up in his chair and followed her eyes down to the page.

"I recognize him. Diana?"

"Yeah." Her friend quickly agreed and pointed to the faded birthmark on his chin. "His eyes were the same too. That's him."

Marian stayed silent, eyes terrified. It made him want to punch a wall and he had no idea why.

At the end of the week, they came back to look at a lineup.

Loki spotted Marian sitting in a parked car in the station lot. She was ten minutes early. He set the two coffees he carried on the steps and walked over.

She flinched and nearly gasped after he tapped lightly on the window.

"Sorry." She apologized, rolling down the window.

"All me. I'm a jerk." Loki answered. "Diana already inside?"

"We came separately. I had to work. Borrowed my Mom's car. She's always late though."

Cue the uncomfortable silence. Loki looked up at the sky. Rain drizzled onto his jacket. "Got an umbrella in the back?"

"In my trunk, but I can-"

"Pop it." Loki told her and she pulled the lever below her knee without thinking. She had no idea why she let him. It was her umbrella after all. This wasn't her.

He lead her inside, grabbing the coffees from the top step. She stopped suddenly in the middle of reception and sat on the empty bench by the double doors.

"I'll just be a minute."

The tone of her voice worried him. "You okay?"

She looked at her shoes and traced shapes in her dark jeans in response. He dropped next to her, not able to bring himself to leave her there alone, damp, and sitting on a bench. Watching her, he realized that her eyes appeared lonely and far away. Distant. A lot like his own.

He knew that feeling and it crushed him to know that she was familiar with it too.

This wasn't right.

"I told myself when I woke up this morning that I wasn't going to do this, but... I've never been as brave as I wanted to be. Strong."

He nodded, understanding. She eyed the star tattoo on his neck.

"Tough guy."

He touched his skin there and muttered, "Yeah." But he knew the truth. That there was a difference between actually being tough and being forced to become tough, able to handle any kind of dangerous situation. Running into the fire, pulling a gun on the bad guy without hesitation, saving the day.

It wasn't the same.

She was still staring at the dark shape.

"You like that?"

"Yeah." She smiled. "It's nice. My parents would never let me have one. Then in college I just didn't for some reason."

"Where'd you want it?"

"On my ankle. Nothing crazy ginormous. Something small and meaningful." Her hands twisted in her lap. "Will you be there? In the room?"

"Yeah." Loki answered quickly and her face turned hopeful. "It'll only take fifteen, twenty minutes tops."

He finally got her into the room and felt the heat of her body against him. She refused to be more than half a foot away from his side.

"They can't see you." Loki reminded her when her body tensed.

"Figured that Officer Loki. But thank you for reminding me." Marian breathed.

He chuckled. "You're welcome, Ms. Albers."

By the time they got to the fifth suspect, he knew she'd already identified number eight as the carjacker. She would look at the suspect in question, say no, and then her eyes would move to suspect eight again nervously. So when they got to number eight and she said 'that's him', he wasn't surprised.

Her hand brushed the back of Loki's and he gently leaned closer.

As he walked her out to her car, two officers were hauling a man in handcuffs out of a squad car. The man said something in passing about Marian's looks, Loki only heard baby and legs as they passed, and made a point to slip a protective arm around her shoulder. She smiled with her head lowered appreciatively, embarrassed.

X-0-X

A week later she called him at the office. To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He didn't expect to hear from her after she got her car back.

"I hope I'm not bothering you." Her voice sounded higher than he remembered.

"No." Loki said quickly. "I was just doing paperwork. Slow day. How you doing?" He wanted to ask if she was alright, but that seemed forward.

"Good. Better. So, this is going to sound strange." She laughed and he heard busy voices in the background. "Can I ask you a totally inappropriate question?"

"Sure...?"

"Do you want to have dinner?"

"With you?" Loki asked, caught off guard. Yes, absolutely, wouldn't miss it for anything, not even if he was hit by a bus crossing the street to the restaurant. A beautiful woman was asking him to dinner. He had to say it twice in his head to make himself believe it really happened.

"Yes. With me."

"Probably not the best idea." Shut up you fucking idiot. "The whole conflict of interest thing with the case."

"I thought you said he confessed?" She actually sounded worried and now he felt like shit.

"He did." Loki assured her, voice calmer.

She released a breath. "Then what's the problem?" He didn't answer. "Look, you've been really nice through this whole thing and I've been this pathetic mess and I want to buy you dinner. As a thank you. To say thank you."

"It's my job."

"Yeah, I know-"

"Tomorrow?" He said too quickly. Damn it.

"Perfect. Mind if I ask another question?"

"Shoot."

"What's your first name?"

"John."

"John, I'm Marian. Nice to meet you."


	3. Chapter 3

It was impossible to find something to wear for a non-date. Loki decided this while trying on the tenth dark sweater he owned and then ripping it off in frustration. The pile on his bed was getting larger by the minute. Nothing looked right or clean enough or fit correctly and it was starting to piss him the fuck off. He also second guessed himself for only owning dark colored clothing and wondered why that was. Maybe it had something to do with his personality, and was the reason that he could count the number of friends that he had easily on both hands.

"It's not even a date... thank you dinner... that's it. She wants to thank you. What the fuck are you talking about? Stupid... so stupid..." He mumbled to himself and pulled out another sweater from the drawer.

All of it was in his head most likely, but that didn't change the fact that this girl that he barely knew was already ruining his night, and for all intensive purposes his life. He sighed deeply, knowing that if anyone was going to ruin it, he wanted it to be her. Shit, that sounded horrible.

He settled on a dark gray sweater, jeans, and tried to make his unkempt hair slightly presentable. At least she liked tattoos. One less thing to worry about.

But that didn't matter. Because this. was. not. a. date.

Of course, when she came out of her apartment, he was yet again flabbergasted by her beauty. She was like an angel. That word sounded insane and borderline stalkerish, but it's the only one that came to his mind that night when Marian opened the door and stepped out into the dim light. She was like this perfect, untouched thing that he wanted to fiercely protect for the rest of his life. The foreign feeling caused a twinge of fear to run through his body for a few seconds. He'd never felt this for anyone.

A small, singular part of him wanted to tell her this was a huge mistake. That someone like her shouldn't be sharing a meal with someone like him. Damaged and used to being alone, because trusting people wasn't an option. People always leave.

Just a thank you. Not a date. He had to keep reminding himself of that. Knowing himself as well as he did, tonight was probably the last time he would see her.

"You look great." He finally said as they walked to his car.

She smiled shyly at the ground, glancing up at him. "So do you."

They discussed where they wanted to go on the way into town, which surprised him. She seemed like a girl who planned things beforehand. But Marian couldn't decide and didn't want to assume he would eat anything. The compromise was a small italian place on the corner of eighth street.

Watching her look through the menu, weighing the pros and cons of each dish in her head distracted Loki to the point of madness. He hadn't looked at his own menu once.

"I've never been here before. But my friend from work said it's pretty good." Marian said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

She had obviously caught him staring. Strike one.

"I usually just microwave." Loki laughed. "So, that's literally all I have to compare any other food too."

"Are you saying this is your first time in a restaurant?"

He looked back at her blankly, trying to think of a witty response.

"Oh, God." Marian hid her head in her hands and peeked out at him, embarrassed. "That was mean. Of course it's not. You just have a job that leaves you no time to have a decent meal."

"No, no- that's- you're funny." Loki corrected her. And that was surprising too. Jesus, was there some terrible flaw that he was missing completely or was there really nothing wrong with her? "Funny is good."

She nodded, pleased.

They ordered drinks and he noticed the fading cuts and bruises on her forehead through the light makeup on her face.

Coward FUCK.

He wished he could growl the phrase from deep in his throat.

Loki motioned to his own forehead. "How's that healing up?"

It took Marian a moment to realize what he was talking about. She seemed removed from the injuries in some way. "Oh, fine. I'm not in any pain or anything." She said confidently and took a long sip from her wine glass. "The doctor said it shouldn't scar, but I'm going back in three or four weeks to make sure." Her eyes lowered to the table cloth and her voice was low. "Just wish I could sleep. It's been... hard... the past week or so. I had to take off work."

"Nightmares?" Loki questioned.

She nodded.

"That's normal after what you went through." He ran a hand through his hair, thinking about how many times the chief sent him to the shrink every time he pulled his gun. It was a running joke among all the cops in the precinct. It wasn't like they didn't know going in that they'd maybe have to use their firearm. "Maybe you could, uh, talk to someone? That might help. You said your mother was a psychiatrist."

"I did?" Marian asked, surprised, and then remembered she told him at the mall that day out of nervousness. "I did didn't I. Good memory."

He tapped his temple. "All up here. Selective sometimes though."

"She actually referred me to a few of her colleagues, but I don't know. I started thinking about, asking myself, if I really believed in it. Growing up it was just my mother's job and I never asked myself that question. Sitting down with a person who doesn't know you, unloading all your problems onto them, and putting all this faith in them." Marian breathed and shrugged her tiny shoulders. "Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it doesn't seem like a realistic solution."

"Wouldn't hurt to try." Loki said just as the waiter came over to take their orders. He continued when he left. "If it doesn't work, no harm no foul."

"Maybe." She muttered, deep in thought. "But I'm sure you know. I mean, because of your job. Must be difficult to do what you do and not be affected. Seeing those kinds of things everyday."

Loki shrugged lightly, playing it off. He really was immune to it all by now. "Gets to the point where it's all pretty normal. Good chance I'll make detective early next year, so I'd better be used to it."

"When do you take the exam?"

"January."

Marian was quiet for a moment and asked, "Is that what you want?"

"What I've been working for, yeah." Loki nodded. "Missing persons. Kids."

Thankfully for him, the conversation quickly deviated to easier topics like who had the worst apartment complex stories, favorite music, movies, family members. He was wrong about the small town. She was actually from the area. But the lots of siblings he got right. Only she was in the middle, not the youngest.

"Mine are both dead. I think my Dad is any way. He left when I was three or four and I never saw him." Loki explained when she asked him. The look on her face told him she wished she didn't though. "After she died, I was in children's homes. Foster care. It sucked, but I got out when I was eighteen. Learned a lot about people. How the world works."

"Sorry, I-"

"Don't apologize. It is what it is."

By the time he looked at his phone it was already after eleven and his face dropped. He didn't want to leave. There was still so much he wanted to know about her. "How was the alfredo?" He asked, hoping to prolong the conversation.

"Amazing. How was your... chicken thing." She laughed with him. "Whatever it was."

"My chicken thing that I also don't know the term for was also amazing."

"I can thank my co-worker Maggie then." Marian said, letting the waiter take her plate. "Good with restaurant suggestions, bad with choosing boyfriends."

Loki made a face. "That bad?"

"Absolute worst."

He was relieved when Marian launched into the long version of her co-worker's romantic escapades. Now they'd be able to spend more time together. In the middle of the story, his laughter subsided when he noticed she was staring across the restaurant worriedly. Her eyes darkened and she was already halfway out of her seat after excusing herself to the restrooms.

Ten minutes went by and she still wasn't back. Concerned, Loki poked his head inside the ladies room, checked the hallways, and scanned the restaurant. "Have you seen a girl, late-20's with dark hair, pretty face near the bathrooms?"

The young hostess shook her head and glanced around. "I think I saw a girl who looked like that go outside a few minutes ago actually. Maybe that was her?"

Sure enough he found Marian sitting on the wooden bench outside of the entrance. She was shaken, trying to catch her breath, and from the way things looked close to hyperventilating.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey." Loki sat beside her and instinctively scanned her body for any injuries. Not that much could happen to her in a crowded restaurant. When she didn't respond or even look at him, he crouched down in front of her and held her face between his hands. "Marian." He said sternly, trying to get her attention.

Her breathing slowed and she slowly came back.

"Marian." He repeated in a low tone. The questions poured out of him unconsciously. "You alright... are you hurt... what happened?"

"I'm-" She started, but just continued to stare back at him silently. A worried look in her eyes. Then cop mode kicked in like a tick and his tone became serious. "Did someone hurt you?"

She wiped a stray tear from her cheek and her head lowered. "This is so embarrassing." she choked out, "I don't know why this is happening. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have never come out tonight."

"Oh." Loki said, realizing this whole outburst might have been because of him.

"No, John, I-" She told him quickly, assessing the terrified look on his face. "It has nothing to do with you. It's me. It's all me."

Loki rubbed his temples to try and make sense of all this. "Do you, uh, want me to call someone for you?" He asked, moving to sit beside her again.

"No. I just need to- I don't know." She trailed off, taking a few deep breaths.

"Can I asked what happened?" He asked her cautiously.

"Me." She told him in a frustrated tone. "I happened. Just me being completely in my own head. I should get over this. I need to get over this. It's infantile, you know? I feel like this weak, pathetic sobbing girl all the time and it fucking sucks."

He chuckled at how adorable her face looked when she cursed. Which is not what he should have been focused on, but it didn't make it any less true. He reached for her, pushing her chin up to meet his eyes. Again, cautiously. She seemed very delicate to him and he took that seriously. "Give yourself some time. It's been - what - not even a week? Six days. I've seen people stay wrapped up in this shit for years on end. The world's not always a good place. Mostly not a good place."

Maybe he shouldn't have said that.

"I never thought about the world that way until recently." She agreed. "Don't know what to do with that."

"Kick its ass. Move on. Don't let the fear run your life."

She smiled at him and he lost his ability to proceed with a normal train of thought. "You are so an idealist underneath."

"I try."

She roughly wiped the rest of her tears away. "Bet this is the least interesting date you've ever been on."

"This is a date?" He asked, eyebrows raised, but in the back of his mind he was pleased. "Thought you were just buying me dinner."

"Oh, no-" She tried to backtrack, but nothing she could say would erase what had been said.

"Marian, I'm fucking with you." She was laughing now, which was a good sign. "Sorry that was mean."

"I think I deserve mean after freaking out in a crowded restaurant for no reason. He just looked so much like him. I saw him from across the room and couldn't believe it. My heart rate went crazy."

"Wait. Him?" Loki asked, confused.

"A guy in there sitting with some woman. He looked like... you know... him."

Loki stood up a little to peer into the restaurant and easily spotted the man she was talking about. He had about ten years and twenty-five pounds on Carl Hobbs, the carjacker, but there was some resemblance.

"You're safe." He told her, lowering to the bench. "Not him."

"Obviously seeing as though he's in jail." Marian countered, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity.

Logical thinking left him once again and he moved his hand over to stoke his thumb over her knuckles. "Want to wait 'till he's done eating? If you keep the car running, I'd be happy to kick the crap out of him for you."

"For looking like a criminal." She joked and realized she didn't mind his hand being on top of her own. "No. But thanks."

"I do feel used, by the way. Never been tricked into a date before."

She put a hand on her forehead. "I really just wanted to buy you dinner to say-"

"-thank you." He finished for her. "I know. That's what they all say. But I'm easy, so..."

She playfully kicked at his leg. Loki offered to crash on her couch for a couple of nights so she would be able to sleep, but she declined, embarrassed beyond belief that he would even suggest it. She also promised to call if desperation took over.

It didn't.

The calls came every so often after one of the nightmares. Marian started to see one of the colleagues of her mother's once a week, but they still came back sometimes. He'd talk to her until she fell back asleep and then think about her so much that he couldn't get back to sleep.

Then the calls became less frequent in regards to the nightmares, but they started calling each other in general and went out casually on weekends. After the third time, Loki started to call the outings dates and Marian didn't correct him.

He kissed her outside of a movie theater after the fourth date and realized he'd never felt more like himself.


	4. Story Update (Please Read!)

Howdy Readers,

So, I'm working on a the last chapter of this story (it will be one extremely long one to wrap things up), but in the meantime, please check out my rp blog for Marian's character at marianalbers on Tumblr. I can't put a link on this page, so just search for the blog name on Tumblr dot com. We've been rping for a little over a month, so there is a lot of writing to look at, including Marian and Loki as teenagers. I'm also taking requests for Marian/Loki one shots which I will fill if they're requested :) Just send me an ask over at the blog.

Thank you so much for the continued support for this story. I do read the reviews and pm's and appreciate them very much! Again, if you send me an ask on my Tumblr account with a one-shot request, I will fill it ;)

Thanks!


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